Helpful Tips – Page 3

Long-lasting relationships can (and do) happen. Couples can survive the traumas and dramas that are all part of life by establishing a secure foundation in their home; one that resembles an actual structure. No matter how beautiful a building is, it won't last unless the foundation is strong and mindfully built. When researching how to be in a relationship, understand that anything you build requires time, planning and selflessness. Most people are fragile, sensitive beings who want to love and feel loved. They seek a significant and special bond with someone they can share their hopes, goals and dreams with; a lifelong companion in the good and bad times. 1. Never Make Assumptions Being in a relationship requires forgiveness, patience and never making assumptions. These are hard words for some, which is why many couples don't last. Arming yourself with relationship tools such as love, knowledge and wisdom gives you the strength and know-how to endure and conquer challenges that present themselves during a lifetime. There will always be times when emotions overtake rational thinking. Knowing this ahead of time and preparing yourself to handle it is a powerful and mature method of handling adversity, allowing your thoughts to calm down before assuming the worst about someone. In fact, understanding how to be in a relationship implies that there are rules and guidelines to follow; instructions, if you will, that enhance the quality of life and prosperity of the couple involved. Never making assumptions is a skill requiring you to leave your conclusion about the matter unspoken until you've heard or seen all relevant evidence concerning it. Being intimately involved with someone for an extended length of time can tempt us to convey both physical and verbal reactions. Long-term relationships often lead to repetitive behaviors that seem to end negatively due to stubbornness, addictions, unresolved mental trauma and pride. A person who seeks how to be in a relationship learns how to avoid hasty, verbal conclusions that can hurt, traumatize or criticize someone they love. Couples who continually make assumptions and verbally abuse each other can come to where they stop talking altogether. Remember, when you first met it was the communication you had with each other that brought you together. People who want to know how to be in a relationship talk to their partners honestly and maturely, avoiding hurtful assumptions and unproven accusations. Mature couples focus on their partners needs while honestly sharing their views and feelings regarding certain situations. Compromise is a must, just as apologizing is. Everyone brings their past with them into a relationship; the trick is not to let your past dictate your future. Continue to talk to each other, be open to communication even if it involves a third part such as a pastor or counselor, and never assume the worst. 2. Look On The Bright Side Attitude is everything. From the moment you wake up in the morning, you're creating your day. The serious individual who really wants to know how to be in a relationship focuses on the positive attributes of their partner. This takes work and you've really got to want it. Rather than setting your mind on your partner's flaws, entertain the good, positive personality traits you love about them. Afton Strate, a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist states "Continual conflict may pose more of a challenge initially, but I encourage couples to find even small things they can appreciate about their partner." Try to connect the positive quality with a prior experience you’ve shared. Remember qualities that first attracted you to them and or a certain character trait you like. 3. Sharing Your Quality Time In a true partnership, both sides have a say. Start by talking about the things you like to take part in such as bike riding, skating, billiards or ping pong. Couples living in the USA may enjoy collecting souvenirs by planning their vacations in each of the 50 states. Also discuss what you like to do alone like reading a book or building the bookcase. There's play time, quiet time and romance time to consider. Discuss and share your thoughts without either one of you feeling neglected or left out. Learning something new as partners is a great way to experience life and enhance your knowledge such as: Cooking classesDancingLearning a computer programPicnicsLong walksBeach outingsTennisLearning a new language Discuss the things you like and why it's important to you. Getting away allows you to remove yourself from everyday distractions at home while discovering new environments and activities as a couple. Be willing to engage new ideas and be diverse in your activities for a pleasurable and shared experience based on your relationship as a couple. 4. Maintain Your Identity A successful union comprises the willingness of both parties to be open and honest about who they are. Relationships based on fear of disappointing someone has disastrous results. Every person in the relationship needs to know their likes, dislikes and how to communicate with their partner about them. People pleasing and self neglect does not nourish relationships. 5. Choosing The Right Partner Physical attraction is usually where most relationships start. However, if you're seriously interested in how to be in a relationship, take a moment to consider the years ahead. Time vanishes, people age and hardships arise. Ask yourself if this is someone you can trust to stand by your side no matter what happens. Do you enjoy your time together outside the bedroom? Can long-term illness or tragedy affect the relationship? Are they respectful of you, your friends and your family? These are the hard (but necessary) questions to answer when you're investing in another human being. Consideration and love are the foundation of a happy, healthy home. 6. Be Yourself Most people want to be happy in a relationship that can endure the test of time. How to be in a relationship that benefits both parties and can withstand the trials of life requires: EmpathyCompatibilityPositive attitudeHonestyUnderstandingSympathy You can have a good relationship with someone by getting to know them first. Begin by sharing basic information about yourself yet focusing on them. Be mindful of your partner's feelings by keeping them informed of your whereabouts and plans. Always check the status of your schedule by sharing information regarding small changes and updates. Talk to your partner and encourage them, sending a card or email with a heart or flowers can make someone's day.One of the most important lessons to learn about how to be in a relationship is not allowing someone else's behavior to affect yours. So often, people lose their positive attitude because someone else is angry or distant. This is a tough situation especially when it concerns someone close to you. This is when "being yourself" gives you the strength to hold on. You won't be able to fix everything that goes wrong in life, however you don't have to compromise your inner peace when things get tough. Whatever you do to maintain your composure, keep it close in times of turmoil. Conclusion: How to Be in a Relationship and Stay There There are many ways to meet someone and start a relationship. These days it's possible to go online and converse besides the more traditional means. Keep in mind that if that person you're talking to on the computer is legit, they still want and need to know the real you. It may be tempting to create a profile that makes you younger, slimmer or more educated than you truly are, but you won't be disappointing anyone who knows the truth-and isn't that what you want as well? Trust your instincts to meet the person who wants you for who you are now. People seeking how to be in a relationship online should be careful to know the signs of fake profiles and people who are scouring the internet for those who are trusting or inexperienced in online communication. People often take honor and respect for granted in relationships that are anonymous. Familiarity can make us forget how much our partner means to us and the hardships of work, family and health can interfere with our best intentions. This is why it's so important to make time for each other. A few minutes of talking, laughing or hugging can make even the bad times better. Be trustworthy, honest and positive in what you think and especially in what you say. Refrain from sarcastic remarks and gossip. Exercise self control, even when it's in your own defense. Avoid badmouthing or criticizing your partner, coworkers or friends. Become accustomed to speaking positive words and when that's not possible, say nothing. People will notice and you may even change someone's attitude and behavior just by being silent. We expect a lot from the people in our lives. Loyalty, kindness and respect are but a few. Shouldn't we be just as responsible for bringing positive contributions to our relationships as well? Grow, learn, share and be humble along the way. Seek to nourish your life with relationships that nourish you.