When we think of the term wicked stepmother, Cinderella’s fairytale usually comes to mind.
This story highlights the cruelties dispensed by a parent who hated a stepchild or preferred their children more.
It is a cruel and unnecessary treatment that should never happen, however, this is an experience that far too many children suffer.
Rather than protecting the emotional, physical and psychological well-being of a child, instead they are abused.
Sometimes, these stories are never told until the child is an adult and has come to terms with their history. It is then you learn about the emotional hardships and how their personalities have been affected by the abuse.
It is a life that no one should ever live.
A home with a wicked stepmother is no home at all.
The Wicked Step Mother’s Looking Glass
And then, there is a different perspective that many people never consider. The one from the stepmother’s side of things.
Every parent, even non-biological parents, have anxieties when it comes to raising children.
Being responsible for another human being is a challenging and chilling task. If you think about all that is involved, you realize that it is nothing like finding a new job.
Especially as a non-biological parent, you start to worry about your interactions with the child and what they think of you. Then you consider the need for discipline when there are behavioral problems.
And then there is another issue that a stepmother worries about and that is whether she will have any affection for the child.
Affection makes it easier to relate to and deal with people, in general. And it is also applicable to those who live in your home, under your supervision and who you see possibly 24 hours a day.
Interacting with a Step Child
A child can choose to keep a parent at arm’s length, if they are resentful about what is taking place. And the easiest person to lash out at are stepparents and step siblings.
Accepting a new blended family is not always easy.
Sometimes children are still reeling from the divorce. They have not yet resolved their feelings about being separated from either parent for any period. And also, their world is now a fragile mess, which is susceptible to change on a constant basis.
Plus they have no control over what is happening.
So if they go into a new home and interact with a new parent, having these emotions might lead to abrasive interactions. Resistance to the step parents authority and isolation.
Within the home, that parent would then be deemed as an evil stepmother because the disagreements can be seen as her fault. After all, she is the adult and ought to have control over the situation.
But, what if she doesn’t.
What if she is struggling internally with accepting a child that clearly resents her?
Remember they are strangers, who have been forced together in a household for whatever reasons.
You can be an adult and take responsibility for a while, but sometimes, you become dejected, unmotivated and might even act from a place of insensitivity.
Dealing with Constant Behavioral Problems
There are times when children are impossible to deal with.
And in these cases, when a person can’t handle it anymore, they can become a wicked stepmother.
No one wants to be considered one of the nasty step moms, especially after living a life that was contrary to such behavior from before. However, constant confrontations with an unruly stepchild in your household can lead to this reality.
Jealous of Biological Parent and Stepchild Relationship
Another extreme emotion that can turn even the best angelic stepparent into a wicked stepmother is jealousy.
Parents love their kids and if you have been spending adult time with your spouse, before your stepchild joins your mixed family, feelings of jealousy can arise. Especially where the biological parent is spending a great deal of time with the child or they never see the negative side of their “angel.”
An angel who has otherwise been tormenting their stepmother, in the father’s absence.
Being a Step Mother
It is sometimes impossible, at first to be a great stepmother.
Blended families come with unique challenges.
Oftentimes, only a child will deem the parent as an evil stepmother, because they are not allowed to have their way. As a child, it is easier to take discipline from your parent, rather than from a stranger whom you had never met before, or care for.
As adults, if we are caught in this type of situation we must seek help and support. Most times this will come from our spouse, who needs to intervene in this situation.
With consistent work, patience and allowance for affection to grow over time, being seen as the wicked step mother, can fade over time.