When To Get A Divorce Lawyer Involved – A Comprehensive Guide

The day you married your spouse, you did so with the knowledge you’d be married forever. You had your happily ever after in place, and you were confident that, through sickness and health and for richer or poorer, you would remain a steadfast couple in love and happy.

When you reach the conclusion your marriage is no longer worth saving, it’s a difficult reality. No one gets married expecting to call a divorce lawyer at any point, but it’s the reality many modern marriages face. The game has changed, and it’s time to understand when to get a divorce lawyer involved.

Most divorce lawyers will tell you that you should do anything and everything possible to save your marriage before you decide to end it. You can try counseling, separation, and many other techniques that are designed to help you save your marriage, but it’s just not possible for many couples to save something that’s been over for a long time.

If your marriage cannot be saved, it’s time to call a divorce attorney and start the process of ending your legal marriage. How do you know when it’s time to get your attorney involved, and when is the best time to make that life-altering phone call?

When To Get A Divorce Lawyer Involved – A Comprehensive Guide

What Does a Divorce Lawyer Do?

A divorce lawyer is an attorney who specializes in civil law. While it is entirely possible to divorce your spouse without the help of an attorney, it’s not always that simple.

A simple, no-fault divorce in which you have no children, debts, or assets to divide might be something you can handle on your own, but the legalities of a divorce in which kids, assets, and debts are involved changes the game a little.

A divorce attorney is an attorney who specializes in helping couples find the results they want from the end of their marriage. A divorce lawyer helps split assets and debts, helps you fight for what you want from your divorce, and handles all the complicated legal paperwork involved in ending your marriage.

Your attorney can help you seek child support, alimony, and even custody arrangements if you’re seeking support for yourself or your children.

There’s very little a divorce attorney does not help you with when you end your marriage, but you still need to know when it’s time to call one. Do you wait until you’re certain your marriage is over, or do you call an attorney when you begin to suspect your marriage might not last the lifetime you thought it would last?

There’s a lot you should know about calling a divorce lawyer, and this information was crafted and designed to help you get to that point.

Signs You Need a Divorce Lawyer

You and your spouse are the only people who know the intimate details of your marriage and your life together. This is why no one else can tell you when your marriage is over or when it’s time for you to call an attorney to begin the process of divorce.

However, while your marriage is quite personal, there are a few signs that are almost always universal. Do any of the following apply to you? If you can honestly say one or more of these relate to you and your marriage, it might be a sign you need to contact a divorce lawyer.

1. There is Infidelity in Your Marriage

Infidelity is a leading cause of divorce. While it’s important to remember that not all cheating means you must divorce your spouse, it’s a major cause. If you think you can move on from cheating or that you can look past your partner’s infidelity to build a stronger marriage, do it.

However, if it’s too much for you to bear, and you cannot get past the hurt you feel, it might be time to call a divorce lawyer. This is especially true if your spouse is looking to end your marriage so he or she can be with the other person.

Your lawyer can help you stay strong and not end up losing in your divorce.

2. One or Both of You Are Unwilling to Make Your Marriage Work

Whether you spent time trying to work through your issues to save your marriage, or one of you simply can’t be bothered, some marriages cannot be saved. It’s recommended you spend time trying to work through your issues to save your marriage.

However, there might come a time when one of you is no longer interested in trying to work things out. Saving your marriage through counseling and intentional behavior works for many couples.

However, sometimes a spouse decides they simply don’t want to try. They’re already emotionally and physically checked out of the marriage, and they don’t want to go ahead and keep trying. You or your spouse might already feel the effort has been made, or you simply don’t want to make the effort.

If one or both of you has given up on trying at all, it’s time to call a divorce attorney.

3. There is Abuse in Your Marriage

Abuse comes in many forms and at no point is it acceptable. If your spouse is mentally, physically, emotionally, or financially abusing you, it’s time to call a divorce attorney. The most important thing you can do for yourself and for your children is remove yourself from this situation.

Statistically, the children of abusive parents are more likely to repeat the cycle in their own lives whether they fall prey to an abuser in an abusive relationship or they become abusive to the people in their own lives.

Physical abuse occurs when your partner harms you physically. Emotional and Mental abuse occurs when your spouse talks down to you and uses words to hurt you. Financial abuse occurs when one spouse prevents the other from working, from making their own money, or from having any of the money that comes into the house.

It’s a method of control that’s unacceptable. If you’re in an abusive situation, call a divorce attorney right away.

4. You Have Kids to Consider

It’s certainly not uncommon for couples to decide they want to stay married for the sake of their children despite no longer wanting to be married to one another. However, this is rarely the case. Children thrive and grow up stable and healthy in a happy, healthy household.

Living with two people who have no respect for one another, who are cold and uninterested, who don’t show physical love or affection for one another, and who are clearly unhappy is not good for kids. It doesn’t set a good example of a marriage, and they notice a lot more than you think they notice.

If you are unhappy, call a divorce attorney. Your kids aren’t getting the best of either of you. In fact, your home might be a place they don’t feel comfortable or happy because of the tension and lack of love you have for your spouse.

Call an attorney to help you figure out child custody, living situations, support, and everything else.

5. Your Spouse Has no Interest in Fairness

At one time, you loved one another enough to get married. You might not love one another enough to stay married, but it’s helpful if you can agree on the terms of your divorce. Unfortunately, this is not very common.

Many couples argue over the division of assets and money, child support, and more.

If your spouse is unwilling to sit down and work out an agreement you can both agree on, it’s time to call an attorney. You shouldn’t give up what you want because your spouse refuses to back down. Your attorney can help you fight for the assets you want, and you have a better chance of your divorce ending on a civil note with an attorney on your team.

6. Your Spouse Is Taking or Hiding Money, Assets, and Property

Not all couples fight fair during divorce, and this might become noticeable when money, property, and other marital assets are missing or transferred during or prior to your divorce. If you’re working on your financials and you notice property or other assets are no longer where you can find them, or they’re not in your name, or they’re being moved around, let this serve as a red flag.

Your spouse is trying to hide things, take things, and make sure he or she ends up with certain assets.

Now is the time to call an attorney. You’ll need your divorce lawyer on your side to help you recover assets your spouse is hiding or transferring, and you’ll need that help right away. This is not something you want to find yourself dealing with, but it happens in many situations where one spouse feels he or she is entitled to more than the other.

Things to Consider When Hiring a Divorce Lawyer

You may never have imagined you’d find yourself in a situation where you had to hire a divorce lawyer, but here you are. If you’re unsure where to start, let this information help you find the best divorce attorney imaginable.

You may never have imagined you’d find yourself in a situation where you had to hire a divorce lawyer, but here you are. If you’re unsure where to start, let this information help you find the best divorce attorney imaginable.

Ask for Recommendations

So many marriages fail that you should be able to find someone who has a great recommendation for an attorney. Even if your divorced friends don’t have a great recommendation for a divorce attorney, at least they can tell you how much they disliked their own so you can avoid hiring that person.

Meet with Every Attorney on Your List

If you want to hire a divorce lawyer, you need to feel comfortable with them. This means meeting each on your short list in person. Do you feel comfortable? Do you feel that you will work well together? Do you have a gut feeling about this attorney?

Listen to how you feel and don’t be afraid to keep looking if you’re not sure you work well with someone.

Ask about Availability

How available is your attorney to you when you’re going through this process? Can you get a callback or response on the same day, or do you wait a few days? Do you constantly talk to an assistant or someone else, or does your attorney answer your calls and speak to you him or herself?

What you want is personal to you, but you do need to ask about your attorney’s availability.

Check Success Records

You don’t want to hire an attorney who doesn’t win, so ask about success rates. Does this attorney win cases and have a great reputation as a divorce lawyer?

If not, don’t feel you need to hire this person to do the job for you. Move on to someone else.

Ask about Price

Can you afford your divorce lawyer? You must know this in advance. You need to know if your attorney charges by the hour, if they charge a pre-determined fee, or if they charge you based on what you walk away from your marriage with.

You should also know if you pay as you go, if you need to pay a retainer up front, or if you will be charged all at once when your divorce is finalized and your assets are settled.

Know What You Want

The kind of attorney you want is entirely up to you. Some people want a shark who might not be kind but who wins cases and gets their way. Some people prefer someone kinder and more available to help with the emotional feelings you’re having.

What you want in an attorney is up to you, but do know what you want before you go meet with attorneys to help you narrow down the list of things you need.


Once you know your marriage is over, call a divorce lawyer. If you’re not sure your marriage is over, that might be a sign you just aren’t ready to end things and it’s worth fighting for.

However, when you know it’s over or you have noticed more than one of the signs on this list in your own marriage, it’s time to call an attorney and discuss your future. It is your future, and it should be the kind of future you want to live.

Samual R

Hello, my name is Samual and I come from a blended family. I hope that the articles here on my site help you when deciding on whether to have a blended family as well as some things that you should watch out for.

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