Babies just have a way of affecting the world around them.
No one can resist his or her charms. Plus, they demand a lot of attention. Any family with children knows that having a child can mean both positive and negative changes for an existing family unit.
Most parents never think of anything bad resulting from having a baby, outside of lack of sleep. You look forward to how it will bring your family closer and how there is someone new to love.
If you think from a child’s perspective, then it could mean any number of things.
They can be resistant or upset because they see their position being threatened. In such cases, parents have to work diligently and carefully to reassure their kids and equally divvy up the attention. Babies initially demand a lot of attention, but they bring a lot of love, joy and happiness as well.
If you are thinking of adding your own bundle of joy to your blended family, continue reading as we discuss a number of factors to keep in mind, during this time.
Relay the Information of Having a Child to Your Exes
Breaking the news about having a baby is never a conversation that should be discussed by a parent and child, but between two ex-spouses. Regardless of whether you had a bitter divorce or there is friction in your relationship, find a way to convey the news.
Being a parent of a new baby will affect your existing child and your ex-spouse should be informed. This will help them to look for signs and guide the child emotionally. If the ex spends time with them, then they will be seeing things that you will not.
Understand that not all children are adversely affected emotionally or psychologically. Many are happy to have a new sibling.
However, just in case there are issues, both parents need to be on guard and sensitive.
There is also another component to consider.
The emotional wellbeing of your ex-partner should be considered. Even though you are no longer together, having kids with someone else somehow brings finality to any chances of you two rekindling a relationship in the future.
If they still have feelings for you then, it is wise to be sensitive and tell them yourselves.
You can delay the conversation until you are ready to share the news with the world, but around the same time that your child discovers it also.
How Do You Tell The Kids?
Biological parents should tell their children, instead of the stepparent, if you are dealing with a teenager. If your child has any lingering emotional or behavioral issues, you need to be the buffer. Help them to get used to the idea of having a new sibling.
Also, keep in mind that some children would still be holding out hope of their biological parents getting back together.
Having a baby, sort of ends that fantasy. So be sensitive when talking to them and reacting to their reaction.
New parents to be, can get caught up in their own happiness and can lose sight of how their children are truly feeling. So be sensitive.
Once the good news is shared, your privacy may be invaded on occasion, even unbeknownst to you.
Your biological child may be sharing details with the stepparent willing, or if prodded. Keep this in mind.
Have a discussion with your partner about how you go about planning for a baby, sharing the news and what bits of information you want to share, even with your child.
This is why many parents wait to tell their children about a pregnancy until the threat of early miscarriage has passed. That issue is extremely private and one you don’t want floating about, outside of your immediate household.
For everything else, let it be. You can’t be a control freak about this one.
How Do You Deal With the Jealousy?
This is a major problem for some blended families, who are having a baby. The aim is to expect it, prepare for it and deal with it. Never let it go by without talking to your child or giving them extra attention.
If you are worried about your child being resentful to the new baby, let the baby handle it. He or she will charm them right into loving them.
Hardly anyone can resist the coos and smiles of a newborn.
Plus, your child will have mixed reactions at times while they get used to the idea. They will be interested and disinterested, loving and attentive one minute then doing their own thing the next. It is natural.
For them to have a healthy transitioning period, both parents must equally be attentive and loving, regardless of the madness or upheaval that comes with taking care of a newborn.