Today, so many parents face difficulties with their children. In a world of growing problems and a fast-paced society, it seems like children are also growing up quickly.
One minute, they are smiling up at you, blowing bubbles, and throwing up. The next minute, they are face down in their techno gadgets ignoring everyone in the real world.
This problem is often compounded by divorce.
With almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce, biological parents are experiencing challenges trying to keep up with their biological child. A split in the home often affects the closeness of a parent with their children.
Having separate homes, sometimes, causes you to lose track of important memories and celebrations. This is more prevalent if you do not have full custody of your child. All in all, it can be a difficult process trying to keep track of your children when they are living half of their lives in someone else’s home.
But it is possible.
How to Lessen the Distance from Your Biological Child
Thanks to technology and various parenting techniques, divorced parents can maintain a bond with their kids. There are different types of parents, so choose the best strategies that work for you and your child.
Don’t become an uninvolved parent, especially during a divorce, and you will stand a chance of maintaining a connection with your kids.
Maximize Your Visitation
When you get to spend time with your child, don’t plan other activities while they are there. You run the risk of making them feel isolated and alone. Show them that you have been thinking about them and looking forward to the visits. Have a special treat ready or take them to a weekly dinner.
Do something that they love and take their input.
If you have another family with a new spouse, then share your time equally, and never allow your child to feel as if they are not your priority. Ensure that your work obligations are taken care of before being with your kids. Children hate when they come to visit and you are working on your computer or making calls all the time.
Take Them on Memorable Holidays
We all have special memories with our parents, and sometimes, they have to do with those times we broke away from routine. Holidays and trips are a great way of building a treasure trove of special memories. Try to get visitation rights on holidays as well, or when your child is out of school.
Negotiate by giving a little and taking a little when it comes to dealing with your ex-spouse. Don’t try to take all the holidays of the year because you should know that the other biological parent is just as important to your child.
Plan trips out of the country, or go somewhere that they have never been. You can make it an annual event and save towards it. This will mean so much more to your child because they will be looking forward to it all year. Christmas and Thanksgiving are wonderful times of year to have these excursions. But also consider their summer break from school.
Use Social Media
Technology makes keeping in touch so much easier these days. You can use Facebook, Skype, and other applications to keep up to date and have video chats. If your child is a teenager, chances are they are posting a lot of what is happening in their lives on social media, so you should keep abreast that way as well.
Make note of behavior that needs to be addressed. Try not to get yourself blocked in the process.
Get Involved and Ask About Their Life
Make sure your presence is always felt. As biological parents, it is important that we participate in our kids’ activities. If there is a game or parent-teachers meeting, try to attend as often as you can. If there is a birthday party, maintain a civil enough relation with your ex-spouse so that you can plan together or even attend it, if it is happening at their home.
Don’t Give Up
Your child needs you. They will never love anyone as they do their parents. In fact, you are their first love and any separation from you will break their hearts, affect their character, and alter their personalities. So keep in touch, no matter the obstacles that you might face in dealing with your ex-spouse.
Yes, divorce can be difficult and sometimes traumatic, but if you maintain your relationship and reinforce your presence in your child’s life, they will not feel abandoned.
Divorce can cause behavioral, academic and psychological problems. Therefore, you must be vigilant with your child.
Love them. Give them attention. Ask about their daily lives and watch them closely. Stick through it, until there is some sense of normalcy regained after the disruption caused by divorce.