With the prevalence of divorce in today’s society, there is also an increase of hurt children walking around with behavioral problems. Children are often the ones who suffer the most when families split. Divorce can cause them to become a shadow of their former selves.
Many parents try to prevent this by staying together, at least until the child is off to college. But is this the best thing to do? Many are not willing to be held ransom in an unloving relationship longer than they can withstand.
But with divorce and remarriage becoming common, we often get caught up with where we are going to live and how are we going to split the assets and then forget about the effects of divorce on kids.
Yes, some children can bounce back quickly from a broken home, but others are a bit more sensitive and require many years to regain a sense of normalcy.
Children not only lose a parent and the consistency of that parent being around, but they also lose routine, traditions, their home, attention, peace, and a number of things that were a part of their old lives.
The Effects of Divorce
There is no doubt that those first months of a family breaking apart is the worst part of the process.
No matter what the reasons for divorce are, it is still heartbreaking.
Across the world, divorce rates have been trending upwards. By the time they are 16 years of age, over 48% of children living in the United States and Britain will at some point experience divorce.
Researchers discovered that the first two years are the toughest and that kids from broken homes usually experience denial, anger, anxiety, and depression, which are all symptomatic of grief. However, these children oftentimes come to terms with the realities of their new life and move on.
Meanwhile, there is a small number of kids who take the repercussions of divorce into adulthood, which affect them throughout their adult years.
What Can Parents Do to Mitigate These Effects?
There are parenting techniques that you can use to alleviate the effects of divorce on your child. If you prepare them for its occurrence, the effects won’t be as jarring compared to when it came up unexpectedly.
This preparation is bound to lessen the psychological and emotional ramifications of divorce.
The Emotional Effects
Going through a divorce is havoc on the entire family. No one is spared. However, your children will be experiencing dissatisfaction, disorder, distrust, and might even be frightened. Younger children frequently resist coming to terms with having multiple homes.
It is common for them to think that the divorce is their fault and that their parents will no longer love them. They may even think that their parents are getting divorced to punish them for a misbehavior, and that everything is their fault. Teenagers get angry and refuse to accept the changes. Oftentimes, they will cast the blame on a particular parent.
Naturally, each one of these circumstances is different. In severe situations, a child might welcome the change because it means their parents will fight even less.
What Happens Because of a Divorce?
When parents divorce, generally, children will have less contact with a particular parent. Oftentimes, this turns out to be the father. Having less time with your children can affect your closeness with that child, especially in the father’s case.
It is highly stressful taking care of a child by yourself if you are used to relying on help from a spouse. This can seep into the relationship of the custodial parent and the child. And it will change the dynamic.
A divorced mother might become less supportive and attentive because she is working and taking care of the needs of the new family unit. Furthermore, studies show that they also are not as reliable or efficient when it comes to disciplining their children.
And then there are the changes to routine. This is sometimes the most challenging part of a divorce that directly affects a child. They have a different house, different school, different friends, different way of life, and subsequently different problems. Monetary neediness is also commonplace after a divorce.
Single-parent families might have to move to a smaller house, in an uncommon community that does not meet their previous standard of life.
Talk to Your Child
It is best that parents prepare a child for these issues by telling them what to expect. If children know about the divorce months or a year before, they can be prepared mentally and emotionally for the changes. Give your child the attention they need because they will need to talk, vent, get angry, and relieve their stress in a positive way.
Depending on the severity of the breakup, counseling may be needed. But don’t stop loving your kids. When all is said and done, you might need to ramp up the attention-giving even more to assuage the ill effects of a divorce.